Joke to Go

[canon_fodder]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

he pleasures himself while he watches porn, and he eats cheetos. with the same hand.

uh huh... i guess cheetos are a bit bigger in the US than over here. i'd forgotten cheetos were orange. meh.

NO. he doesn't put them on his penis... he eats with say his left hand.... and then clicks on the site that says girls in amazing positions WITH NO CLOTHING!

get it?

lol. took me a long time to get it myself.

[Shmi]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

he pleasures himself while he watches porn, and he eats cheetos. with the same hand.

uh huh... i guess cheetos are a bit bigger in the US than over here. i'd forgotten cheetos were orange. meh.

NO. he doesn't put them on his penis... he eats with say his left hand.... and then clicks on the site that says girls in amazing positions WITH NO CLOTHING!

get it?

lol. took me a long time to get it myself.

Who said anything about applying Cheetos to penises? I think he meant "bigger" as in more popular, not "bigger" as in "big enough to wrap around your cock."

[canon_fodder]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

he pleasures himself while he watches porn, and he eats cheetos. with the same hand.

uh huh... i guess cheetos are a bit bigger in the US than over here. i'd forgotten cheetos were orange. meh.

NO. he doesn't put them on his penis... he eats with say his left hand.... and then clicks on the site that says girls in amazing positions WITH NO CLOTHING!

get it?

lol. took me a long time to get it myself.

Who said anything about applying Cheetos to penises? I think he meant "bigger" as in more popular, not "bigger" as in "big enough to wrap around your cock."

wait... what?

[Vman]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

he pleasures himself while he watches porn, and he eats cheetos. with the same hand.

uh huh... i guess cheetos are a bit bigger in the US than over here. i'd forgotten cheetos were orange. meh.

NO. he doesn't put them on his penis... he eats with say his left hand.... and then clicks on the site that says girls in amazing positions WITH NO CLOTHING!

get it?

lol. took me a long time to get it myself.

Who said anything about applying Cheetos to penises? I think he meant "bigger" as in more popular, not "bigger" as in "big enough to wrap around your cock."

wait... what?

Exactly.

[canon_fodder]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

he pleasures himself while he watches porn, and he eats cheetos. with the same hand.

uh huh... i guess cheetos are a bit bigger in the US than over here. i'd forgotten cheetos were orange. meh.

NO. he doesn't put them on his penis... he eats with say his left hand.... and then clicks on the site that says girls in amazing positions WITH NO CLOTHING!

get it?

lol. took me a long time to get it myself.

Who said anything about applying Cheetos to penises? I think he meant "bigger" as in more popular, not "bigger" as in "big enough to wrap around your cock."

wait... what?

Exactly.

yay! someone else gets what i mean.

OH NO KES HAS BEEN KILLED!

sorry watching star trek voyager. she is deaded! noes! not that i didn't expect it. lol.

[imyourhuckleberry]

A man dies and at the funeral home his morning wife views the body and approaches the blonde funeral director.
"You know, my husband has always looked sharp in a brown suit with a baby blue tie, not this black suit and red tie he is wearing now, I am going to write you a blank check, and if you would be so kind to get him a brown suit and a baby blue tie so he can look handsome at the viewing, I would be much appreciative."
The funeral director takes the check and assures the woman that she will do everything in her power to get the suit that she wishes.
The next day the woman comes back and approaches the casket.  Sure enough, her husband was wearing a perfectly fitting brown suit with a blue tie.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she says to the funeral director, "you have made this awful day seem so much brighter, if you could tell me how much the suit cost, so I can put it into my check book, that would be great!"
The blond smiles and states, "There is no charge mamm."
"Oh, my, I can't ask that of you" said the elderly woman, "Please tell me how much I owe you."
"Nothing, you see, just after you left, another man came in dressed in a brown suit with a blue tie.  I told his family your situation, and they said that they always liked him dressed in a black suit with a red tie, so naturally I just switched the heads."

[WiseHacker]

Frank was in trouble.  It was the day of his and his wife's anniversary and he had forgotten.

As Frame was leaving for work, his wife pulls him aside and yells, "Tomorrow morning I expect a present in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than six seconds and it had better be there."

The next day, Frank gets up early for work and leaves.  His wife later looks out the window and there is a small present in the drive way.

Frank's wife goes up, opens the present and finds a new bathroom scale inside.

Needless to say, Frank has not been home since.

[ABoerma]

A bar walks into a man... oops, wrong frame of reference.

(So I'm a physics major. Sue me. =P)

[PianoGuy]

What do you call a Can of Rice & Beans that stirs itself?

                                                      A Mix-A-Can!   





lol.. no?

[Nare]

An explorer goes through the jungle and is suddenly surrounded by natives, theirs spikes at hand. "I SCREWED IT!" said the explorer.

 In that very moment a voice from heaven talked to the man: "No, my son. Take the spear from the warrior next to you and impale it in the chest of the Chieftain's son who is in front of you".

The explorer quickly turned right and forced the spear out of the warrior's hand and then ram it into the child in front of him. Then he looked at the sky, and the voice spoke again.

"NOW you screwed it."

[Armaron]

I'm from Belgium and we're famous for our beer.

Three guys walk up a mountain, an american, an frenchman and a belgian. They come across a ravine and decide to test the echo.

The american yells: "I'm going to eat a hotdog!" Echo ensues: eat a hotdog... hotdog... dog...

The frenchman is next: "I'm going to drink wine!" Echo ensues: boire du vin... du vin... vin...

The belgian is up: "I'm going for a beer!" Echo ensues: I'm comming with you... comming with you...

[WiseHacker]

Two men were looking at a flag pole and were wondering how to measure its height.  Then, along came a curvy blonde.

"What's the problem, boys?" she asks.

One says to the blond, "We've been asked to measure this flag pole but can't figure out how."

"That's easy," says the blond.  She walks up to the flag pole, removes the bolt at its base and takes the whole structure down.  She then takes out a small measuring tape from her purse and measures along the now on its side pole.

"The height of the pole is eight feet and six inches," she informs the two men.  The blond then puts the tape away, puts the pole back, replaces the bolt and leaves.

After she had gone, one of the two men turns to the other and says, "How blond is that?  Ask her for the height and she gave us the width."

[TheMightyBoosh]

A cardinal is visiting the primary school he once attended as a child.

"And what do you do?" he asks one boy.
"I want to be a engineer, your eminence." says the boy.
"Did you hear that boys and girls?" asked the Cardinal. "He want to be an engineer. They make the world a better place for us to live in, don't they?"
"Yes, your eminence.'

The cardinal moved along the line. "And what do you want to do when you grow up?" he asked another little boy.
"I want to be a plumber, your eminence."
"And why would you want to do that?" the cardinal asked, interested.
"Cause it's what me dad does, your eminence."
"Did you hear that, boys and girls? following in his fathers footsteps. Does that remind you of anyone?"
"No your eminence." said the class.
"What about Jesus?" asked the cardinal, concerned.
"Oh yes! Jesus we forgot, your eminence!"
"Yeah, well don't forget again. He's nailed to wall behind you o you don't."

He moved along the line again, and came to a small boy who was rummaging in his shorts and picking his nose. "And what do you want to be when you grow up?" the cardinal asked the boy.
The boy looked at him and said "Oh, fuck off."

Chaos ensued, and the cardinal yelled at the child. "How dare you tell me to fuck off! I never did that when I was your age! I sat at this self same desk, and I worked! and I got sent to a posh school, where I worked even harder! and I became a priest! Did I rest on my laurels? You bet I didn't! I haunted the libraries of this country, learning all I could, and I was summoned to rome by the holy father himself to learn more at the Vatican! I was made a cardinal, and I was on the committee that chose the last pope! And you tell me to fuck off? YOU FUCK OFF!"

[kyara5386]

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[kyara5386]

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