Joke to Go

[shifty]

if a girl's name's Esther and she had a multiple presonality, what would that make her?

Polyester?

[Geiyu]

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

They start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads, "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continue on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect. "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left.

Wondering what they would be missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads, "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

[Netlatino]

Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila says: "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barks: "What the F&@#$ did you say?"
"A prostitute!" Sheila repeats.
Sister Catherine breathes a sight of relief and says: "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant"

[Vman]

Two nuts and a duck walk into a bar and one of the nut's is assaulted. Wait for it.

[pirksaddict]

http://www.geektragedy.com/strips/gts/gts20070815.htm

[Hanii Puppy]

he fucked a sheep, so he's known as the sheep fucker, despite all of his other achievements.

It's Sheep Shagger <.< and it's mainly pointed at the Aberdinians and the welsh. (not sure why the welsh, but aberdeen's footbal slogan is "I'd rather shag a sheep than be beaten by rangers" or somin like that =p)

[Vman]

Look what I made.

[Blacklight]

tragic joke, but it must be done!

Knock knock

whos there?

Doctor...

Doctor who?

get it? eh? eh?

[ezilla]

Ok I have one...Lol

There was a white family and the mother was making a chocolate cake, when she turned her back her son took some of the chocolate from the cake and put it on his face. After putting it on his face he said look mommy "i'm black." His mother became very angry and sent him to his father, when he saw his father he said look daddy "i'm black." His father became very angry as well and  proceeded to beat him, then he said now go see your grandfather. When he saw his grandfather he said look grand dad "i'm black" the grandfather became so angry he beat the shit out of that boy and then sent him back to his mother. His mother then asked now, what have you learned ? The little boy looked at her and said "I've been black for 5 minutes and already I hate you white racist motherfuckers."

...calm down it's just a joke. LOL

[Knightslugger]

A guy calls his physician one day FRANTIC.  He says, "Doc, you gotta see me quick, there's something wrong with my penis!"  Knowing the man is single, he prepares for the worst and agrees to see him right away.  The man comes in and says, "Thanks so much doc, i'm really worried.  can ya have a look?".  The Doc says, "Before we get started, just tell me what your symptoms are..."  The man hesitates a little and mutters, "It's Orange....".  The Doc blinks hard and says, "I'm sorry, i could have sworn you said... It's Orange?"  "That's what i'm sayin' Doc!  The whole thing's ORANGE!"  Perplexed as to what it could possibly be he goes ahead and takes a look.  Sure enough, bright orange and kinda funky smellin.  "Whoa..." he says, "Yeah, wow...  Just what the hell were you doin'?!" he asks visibly shocked...  The man hesitates again, but this time a little longer.  He says, "Well i got a little hungry when i was on the computer....."

yeah, i went there.

[Shmi]

A guy calls his physician one day FRANTIC.  He says, "Doc, you gotta see me quick, there's something wrong with my penis!"  Knowing the man is single, he prepares for the worst and agrees to see him right away.  The man comes in and says, "Thanks so much doc, i'm really worried.  can ya have a look?".  The Doc says, "Before we get started, just tell me what your symptoms are..."  The man hesitates a little and mutters, "It's Orange....".  The Doc blinks hard and says, "I'm sorry, i could have sworn you said... It's Orange?"  "That's what i'm sayin' Doc!  The whole thing's ORANGE!"  Perplexed as to what it could possibly be he goes ahead and takes a look.  Sure enough, bright orange and kinda funky smellin.  "Whoa..." he says, "Yeah, wow...  Just what the hell were you doin'?!" he asks visibly shocked...  The man hesitates again, but this time a little longer.  He says, "Well i got a little hungry when i was on the computer....."

yeah, i went there.

I'm sorry. Maybe it's that I've been up for over 25 hours, maybe I'm particularly slow today, but I just don't get it.



edit: ok, i get it. cheetos. or w/e.

[Jaycee]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

[Inigo]

A guy calls his physician one day FRANTIC.

Strange thing to call a physician.

[Shmi]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

he pleasures himself while he watches porn, and he eats cheetos. with the same hand.

[Jaycee]

so... cheetos? i still don't get it.

he pleasures himself while he watches porn, and he eats cheetos. with the same hand.

uh huh... i guess cheetos are a bit bigger in the US than over here. i'd forgotten cheetos were orange. meh.