Is there such a thing as "too honest"?

[babyLemon]

I am wondering, do you think there's such a thing as "too honest"? I mean, I hang out with a bunch of people here who I think is incredibly stupid. And most of them have the common theme of "I can't get a girlfriend... Help me find a girlfriend... But I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to exercise even though my ass is the size of texas... I also don't want to take shower, hey, in fact, I don't want to learn proper english... but I want a girlfriend that looks like she comes from an anime..." So, yeah... Most times, I just want to bitch-slap them across the face and tell them that that if they're not fixing themselves, they're not going to get anyone to like them. But alas.. propriety prohibits me from doing so.

So, yeah, is there such a thing as "too honest"? Is there a limit to how honest you could be? or should be? For what's sake should you sacrifice honesty?

[Jinto]

My French 1 teacher once told me I was "brutally honest" after she aske if me and this other guy were working on the group thing like we were suppost to.  To some point I thing honest is a good thing, but that varies from person to person.

[Rose]

....

You see, this thread should be titled "Is there such a thing as "too stupid"?"

Unfortunately, stupidity comes in infinite amounts.

[Knightslugger]

I've been told i am brutally honest.... and brutal.  I don't cut anyone any slack.  Hard ass i think is what they say.

[sinsfire]

in answer to your larger question of honesty, yes one can be too honest. you can say something with tact or you can be blunt. to answer someones question truthfully is fine, to exaserbate the situation by essentially berating them is unnecessary.

to use your example. you could be honest and tell your friends that increasing their education and hygene will in turn help their confidence and their ability to get women that would be telling them the truth. you could be blunt and say"you are a fscking delusional fat ass and i wouldn't let my dog date you. change your hair get some cloths and loose a few pounds and maybe i'll let you date my beagle." while possibly true, that statement is just mean and not very helpful.

if you are looking to mold your friends into better people then honesty is probably key, but use a bit of tact and i think you will get better results and your friends may not get as defensive.

sins

PS: side bar; the only correct answer to the question "does _____ make my _____ look fat" is "honey, you aren't fat."

[FeelingForeign]

It's kind of a hard question to answer, cause' there are people that will say whatever is in their head without it going through any mental checkpoints and others will be truthful but won't say everything they ever thought about you or the topic. Plus like sinsfire said there's sugarcoating the truth, where nothing said is a lie but certain omissions are made (like "how have you lived your life thus far will be forever a mystery") and then theres being blunt.

I always try to tell the truth cause' I just don't like lying, but I will use diplomatic wording as not to anger or upset them. With close mates I'm much more blunt, mainly because when I say something like "It's probably because most of the girls out there aren't on your wavelength and mainly judge you by your style of clothes" they will reflect on this and then say "So your saying I'm a wierdo with no fashion sense", so there's no real point in carefully wording the truth with them, they can see through the BS. But sometimes you gotta be blunt to get the message through to some people though.

BTW -

"you are a fscking delusional fat ass and i wouldn't let me dog date you. change your hair get some cloths and loose a few pounds and maybe i'll let you date my beagle."

Sigged 

[Dsvella]

Can you be too honest? no.

Can you be too blunt? Yes.

I've been told i am brutally honest.... and brutal.  I don't cut anyone any slack.  Hard ass i think is what they say

I had this issue, until i came to uni. Honesty is  good thing in general. But not everyone is ready for it. I would speak my mind in all honestly and end up angering a lot of people.

The trick is to spin the honesty so that you have tact and subtly.

In your example babyLemon you could say "Well at least make an effort? Some nice cloths and a shower would go down great. and loose some weight would help, and no matter ho hard you hope women do not have size 4 waists and 36"DD boobs"

A better way would be " You not gonna get anything without a bit of effort on your part. Maybe a new hair cut and some classy deodorant? and i am sorry to burst your bubble but IRL cat girls don't exist.'

But i will side with FeelingForeign there are times when you need to be blunt to hammer the point home.

[Ice]

Maybe art school and the endless supply of idiots has jaded me but I run my mouth about what I feel. There are too many idiots here wasting space and money, and I try to encourage them to wake up to reality.

I find that speaking the truth hurts, but helps.

[Phoenix88]

Is there such a thing as too honest - never.

Is there such a thing as too blunt - never.

Just as long as you don't tell them in public about something that will break and humiliate them, its ok. Ever said yes to the "Does this make my ____ look fat?" in a room full of women panicking about what they're going to wear.... ahhh, awkward moments.

[ananth]

Sometimes a little tough love is necessary.

[Keizuki]

As they say there's the easy way or the hard way. Some people either refuse to know or don't know about the easy way. Then you have to do it the hard way. Its great telling someone the hard way. Very satisfying, they go all quiet and bewildered. Then they realized they've been totally caught out and then instantly deny all knowledge of what they said, you said and the whole situation.

Admittedly that first part doesn't make much sense, but it will shortly.

What I'm getting at is if you want to tell someone something being dishonest or beating-about-the-bush and not being honest will only make things worse. It's (normally) best to be honest and get it over and done with.

Personally I can't see how you can be 'too honest' unless your referring to 'white lies' and such. For example you say you girlfriend looks better than any other girl in the club. It may not be true but it'll better than saying you think that girl over there has a nicer butt or something. There is also the situation where if there is two of something, lets use the girlfriend example again. If she catches you staring at some other girl and she asks who's better looking then? And you can't decide because by your view they're both the same or chalk up the same number of good and bad points. Then you'll have to chose the lesser of two evils. Firstly she'll feel better about things but will keep a closer eye on you. Or secondly (this is the bad one) she's walks out or doesn't speak to you for a week. It's one of those things people need to hear to reinforce their confidence in something or someone.

Well, anyway, I think I got down most of what I was thinking. If you read (made) it this far I applaud you. ; )

[Liquidmark]

It's like this...

Communicating with others is like farming.

You reap what you sow.

If you plant carrots, that's what you'll eat.

If you plant weeds, then THAT' is what you'll eat.

___________

I believe that, fire from the tongue, burns bridges when you talk.

If you speak carelessly, as though you don't care about burning bridges, then you need to be ready for others to get the gasoline and matches to help the blaze along.

Being honest is cool and all, but you gotta use tact and respect when you speak. That is, unless you really don't care about your friends, or even, your own feelings.

___________

"Brutally Honest" is a two-sided mirror. Show others an image of themselves...

...If you are prepared to see a image of yourself.

You'll have nobody to blame, if what you see is abhorrent or repulsive.

___________

Plus, don't forget, that individuals have a right to be offended by offensive behavior. Failing to see this is one of the greatest offenses a person can levy on another. Plus, it unjustifies every time you have been insulted or offended. By ignoring others feelings, you devalue your OWN feelings.

___________

Respect is free but is also priceless. Giving respect is a small price to pay to get respect in return.

___________

I'm just sayin'...

[SleepinSwordsman]

Can you be too honest? Absolutely, there are somethings I do not need to know, like for instance, the fact that you are madly in love the coke bottle I just drank out of. Sometimes, you gotta bite the bullet and shut up. For the sake of us all...