My friend's idea: Crusader

[fs]

Here's my friend's idea of a kind of hero, I guess. It's not mind idea, but I think he needs some tuning, if you guys don't mind. Here's a brief description of the character that he gave me:

He's the son of a minister, the fire and brimstone type.  He spent almost all of his youth in the church with his father, so he's been steeped in scripture.  He thinks he's on a mission from God and at first fights evil with no real purpose.  Later, I want him to realize that it's better to defend good than strictly battle evil.  The issue will kind of question his hero status and then conclude that he helps people.

He fights people who commit obvious sins and tends to recite relevant scripture as he goes about his ass-kickery.

I still think Crusader is the best name for him. He dresses a bit like a paladin. His shield isn't knight-like, though.  It's a riot shield, maybe with a religious symbol painted on it.I'm working on a more detailed idea for his costume. It looks like old armor, but it's just thin, light metal concealing kevlar and blade-proof chain mail.

I'm having trouble deciding what his main weapon is.Oh, he'll definitely fight with various substances he labels "holy water."  Maybe acids or muscle relaxants. Ketamine might work. I'd have to look that up.

I told him I think the shield idea is dumb, and for a costume, I think a regular priest uniform would work best, for the appearance. I'll let you guys burn and criticisize him now.

[Kinan]

If your friend has an idea for a character, he shouldn't describe him as he did. He should describe him as if he was writing a story. Making it more immersive than things copied out of an IM window. It's okay to do that among friends, but not to tell the world. The way it's presented now it's nothing more but old news and poorly written.

[Ginja_Ninja]

Plus it's more then a bit silly and over the top.
I mean most heroes are about sexual fetishes on some level.
I dread to think what this hero would have as his object of desire.

[fs]

If your friend has an idea for a character, he shouldn't describe him as he did. He should describe him as if he was writing a story. Making it more immersive than things copied out of an IM window. It's okay to do that among friends, but not to tell the world. The way it's presented now it's nothing more but old news and poorly written.

Well, he is writing a story, I kinda force him to write him this way. I just wanted his description to be quick, brief, and to the point. So far, it's not the story I'm worried about, it's the character in the story.

Plus it's more then a bit silly and over the top.
I mean most heroes are about sexual fetishes on some level.
I dread to think what this hero would have as his object of desire.

I'll take it that you mean "So, what's his goal? Why does he do this stuff exactly?"
So far, as much as I know, he's not really a superhero, jumping on rooftops kind of guy. More like the kind of guy that'll break into your house, kill you after a good scare, maybe torture you a bit, to rub his religious beliefs in your face, and then go on to the next guy. But that's my take on the guy. He's just a sicko who thinks he does the right thing.

[OrcishIncubus]

So his "sexual desire" is Christianity.

perfect. /cough

[fs]

So his "sexual desire" is Christianity.

perfect. /cough

I think I'll give him a sidekick, Altar Boy!

[Revan]

Reminds me of a comicbook character a friend of mine came up with a few years back....TURBO NUN! And her sidekcik, the meek Alter Boy! Who do battle with, the Neferious 7-11 Clerk!

[the_gaker]

The image of Battle Pope is hovering in my mind as I read these posts.

[fs]

Wasn't there some comic out that was called The Priest or The Preacher or something?

[Ginja_Ninja]

There is a fantastic comic called Preacher by Garth Ennis.

I once wrote a story called super mecha space pope.
It was piss poor. But did have a giant pope fighting zombie Lenin.
So it was all good.

[netpoet]

on a side note, fighting using "muscle relaxants" would be incredibly useless.  Call it "stunning" or "stun gun" or something of that note.

Fighting using muscle relaxants makes it sound like he's a walking pharmacy, and *THE* guy to call if you've got a bad backache or a migraine.  Not to mention his attacks would only be effective after they've had time to kick in...

>Net

[Shmi]

his weapon should be obvious. A sword. turn it upside down, and it's a cross. cmon now.

[Wraithstorm]

Shmi's right.  Just give him a templar sword or something, somthing ornate and cross hilted.

[Shmi]

either that or a crossbow. again with obvious reasons.

[nikita]

One thing I've got to think of when you mentioned the riot shield...

This is set in modern times, right?

Then why would he have a full suit of armor and a templar sword? (this is to the other suggestions)  Modern-ish paladins are technically possible, they just need to be ridiculously devoted to their faith, and sometimes a little messed up in the head. Ever read the Hellsing manga?  Anderson's basically what you're going for. He's got blessed holy silver bayonets. BAYONETS for chrissakes!  And he dresses like a regular ol' priest.

The riot shield's a good idea, the muscle relaxent thing, not so much. Echoing what everybody else said, it sounds like he's a walking pharmacy.

either that or a crossbow. again with obvious reasons.

Also a very good idea. Again, for obvious reasons

Pardon the rantage ._.