So..testing out my Writing skills.

OK..so ive had this idea for a story/game ..its majorly epic..talking like four diffrent storylines that all link up in a finale. I've never really shared my work with anyone, but i wrote this this morning because i had a touch of insomnia. There are alot of set ups for later on to flesh it out, but i just wanted to drop a small sample and see what other people think. I just wanna know if my writing sucks or not.

For simple facts

Countries
Elhzame/ironia - A nation defeated prior to the stories beginning. A melding pot of cultures. Think US but without a strong centralized government.
Attilus - Ruled by Gulai, the land is dotted with a large number of small ferun clans.
Tanmas - Ruled by humans, they represent the last hope of standing agianst the might of Attilus.

Races
Gulai - Elves. trying not to make them A typical elves...i think i failed though.
Ferun - Tall muscle bound black eyed warriors. Think Barbarians with a hard on for kicking the crap out of everything and anything that can possibly present a challenge..
Golthan - A dark skinned race similar to humans but seperated by natural fighting skill and their warlike nature.
Human - well..they're human.
Exiled ones - Gulai who were expelled from Attilus.

Starting....NOW!

The snow fell upon the enclosed mountain top. The ringing of the Mountain fortresses blacksmith hammers falling upon fresh smelted steel echoed throughout. The night was black, no moonlight came through the harsh cloud cover; no light ever shone upon this place. The home of exiled ancients, the Gulai as they were called by the younger races, was a harsh land. These elven creatures had carved out a life in the mountains. Cold was their eternal foe. The constant attacks by the Feruns had made them tough and enduring.

A lone elf stood looking out over the mountain stronghold. In his youth he had marveled at the ingenuity. Now he felt nothing but disdane. THe Elf pulled his crimson coat around him, seeking warmth in the fur-lined interior. Still the chill from the northern winds cut through him to the bone. The light plate armor he wore did not help the situation. He turned back and began to walk down the scarred and worn stone patio. He entered the tunnel and nodded to the guards. The two gulai solders snapped to attention and saluted him. Ignoring the gesture, he continued inward.

The Gulai warrior stopped and turned to face a nearby mirror.He sneered, for he knew his race was vain. The elf looked closer at the face, taking in the Narrow jawline, the pierced pointy ears. He moved his red tinged blond hair, and frowned. Years ago, he would have been considered handsome by his race. But things had changed. His eyes traveled along the scars on his face. He looked into his own red eyes and stared, as if trying to get a glimpse of the real person within.

"Bah" He said aloud and turned away.

As the tunnel grew smaller it became harder to fit his well toned Form through the passage. The gulai were a tall race, not as tall as a ferun but still tall enough to stand a full head taller than most humans. He entered a antechamber and his sharp ears picked up the sound of someone approaching.

"Sanus." The approaching gulai spoke casually. "It's time."

Sanus turned to the speaker and passed an eye over him. If Sanus was once handsome, then this elf was beautiful. With eyes of silver and Silver tinged blond hair, His face was narrow and sharp. He wore his hair swept back and slick. His muscled frame was fit with a leather tunic without sleeves. Unlike most Gulai this one had adapted to the cold, seemingly uneffected by the climate.

"Vahn. Do we really have to go to this war meeting?" Sanus said as he yawned."Its just going to be him going on about how we will force are way in to Tanmas."

"Mandatory for Company Commanders and their sub commanders."Vahn said as he began to walk towards the war Room. "I'm not thrilled about this either."

"Bah." Sanus spat angrily."He still thinks that the Tanmas will be a pushover like Elhzame. He wants us to move in when we haven't even stabilized Elhzame"

"Ironia" Vahn replied with a smile.

"What?" Sanus questioned. His eyes narrowed in preparation.

"Ironia is what he renamed the country." Vahn chuckled and then stiffled the laugh.

"Of all the arrogant.." Sanus let out a sigh and adjusted his coat, pulling his hood up and shadowing his face. The two approached the War room door and Sanus spoke." are you ready?"

"You're asking me?!" Vahn said with a mischevious grin "I'm not the commander, you are"

Sanus let his shoulders lower and mentally prepared himself."Let's get this over with."

The door creaked open and The occupants of the room turned their eyes to the newcomers.

Sanus looked at each of the 4 occupants. He could feel their eyes upon him, hear their snickering and disdain. The gulai commander entered and sat down around the center table, Vahn took the seat next to him. Sanus prepared himself for the jeering comments and insults.

But they would never come, because he entered.

The General of the Attilus Army was tall, taller than most Gulai. His hair was completely silver, and his one visible eye shone of anchient magic. This elf was old, yet he exuded power. his face was partially obscured by a veil of black cloth. His Armor was covered by his extragavagant coat, its Dragon Bronzed plate shoulders on the outside of the coat embossed with the emblem of the army. His eye scanned over the Commanders gathered, pausing at Sanus. A wicked grin crossed his face.

"I see you are all here. Even those of you not worthy of command positions." The general said as his eye glared evily at Sanus.

"My lord we are here to serve and obey without question" the men in the war room said in unison.

"Now. Let us begin. First, The occupation of Ironia is proceeding as planned."with a wave of his hand, a map of Farimor appeared upon the center table. He pointed and the Map enlarged to Show the West contient. He snapped and several red dots appeared. "This is the current concentration of our troops in Elhzame." He snapped agian and a few blue dots appeared."These are the estimated numbers of Rebel forces remaining. As you can see, The Resistance in Elhzame is dying down. Now is the time to move our troops towards the border of Tanmas and prepare for assault."

The general snapped agian and several red dots moved towards the Border of Tanmas."we move them here under the Guise of securing Ironia's Borders. Then we move in and Strike. We've already been establishing forward operation bases and Supply lines near these areas, in preparation for our Dragoon Brigade assaults and the troop enflux. We will begin moving our Nograd divisions at sunrise. Our Armor Divisions and Infantry brigades will be moving as well."

"Sir." Sanus said as he stood.

The general raised his eyebrow and sneered. "What do you want?"

"I don't think this is a good idea. We've barely got Elhz-Ironia under control. Wiping out the resistance isn't the only thing we need to do there. We have to stabilize the government, establish bases. We have to ensure our presence is there" Sanus said as he pointed at the blue dots.

Chuckling the general crossed his arms and glared at the young Gulai."Our army is there. What more presence do we need?"

"Sir im worried that were stretching our army too thin." the Sanus said growing annoyed.

"do you think i do not know my own army? do you think i do not know the limitations of our men?" The general responded, his voice growing louder and more assertive.

"No..Im thinking you just want us to attack without establishing a fall back plan." Sanus said angrily.

"OH?! so you think we are so weak that we need a fall back plan? You think that the Humans can stop us? We who have the divine right to rule?"

"No I'm just saying that we should prepare for everything." Sanus said as he leaned accross the table. "You weren't on the front. You didn't fight the Golthans when we made the southern push. You didn't see the Fight the Exiled ones put up in the western province. Yes the initial attack was successful, but when they rallied they put up a tougher fight then you give them credit for." Sanus narrowed his eyes."And the Humans will be much more prepared. They aren't stupid. They know were comming. And you can bet that the Golthans and Exiled Ones will be joining them."

"THen your company is weak. I have the reports of their cities falling to our might in hours. There are reports of our army routing the rallied defenders. Perhaps it was poor leadership that holds your unit back?"

Sanus growled. a hand on his wrist forced him to look to his left. Vahn shook his head slightly. Sanus stood down. "your judgement is all that matters General Iro. I merely was suggesting a few options."

"I see who really commands your troops." iro said as a sick smirk crossed his face. "Perhaps he should be sitting in the commander chair and not you?"

"My Lieutenent is free to challenge me whenever he sees fit." Sanus replied cooly."I am fortunate that he perfers the to be my strong right hand."

"How Pathetic. I was hoping you would at least challenge me" Iro sneered."it has been some time since your last beating no?"

Vahn leaned away from his commander. He could feel the heat eminating from the dragoon as Sanus said nothing.

Iro turned back to the others. "You all have your assignments. See that they are carried out immediately.I shall inform the king of our course of action. Dismissed."

The 6 men stood and saluted with a fist over their hearts. They each left the room quickly and efficently.

***

Sanus stood in the Roost looking over his stables. Every one of the beasts here was under his control. THe great beasts stationed here were fickle,yes, but they had been domesticated and trained. The dragoons rode them in to battle, controlling the very powers they had once feared. For what else but a Dragoon could ride a dragon?

The great Flying lizards were the ultimate units of the Attilus. They had easily crushed the Elhzame armies meager air force, a force of weak ineffective Airplanes. The great gouts of unquenshable flames had filled the Air above the country, snuffing out any resistance that the corrupt government could pose. The mana bombs the Dragoons could drop had decimated the capital city and crippled any reinforcments that could have been redirected. Within a week, most of Elhzame was under Attilus control.

"I hear your going to the front agian." a female voice said behind him.

Sanus turned slowly, careful not to reveal his scarred face from beneath his fur-lined hood. "Yes. I am."

"Why do you still hide your face from me?" The woman said. "I know what you look like underneath your hood."

Sanus lowered his hood and stared at the woman. "It is just a woman like you shouldn't see the failures of a man."

The woman snickered. She place a hand on her full hips and touched her lip with a slender finger. Her own crimson hued eyes Stared into his red ones. "You seem lost. what is wrong?" She moved her hand to her Scarlet hair and adjusted her bangs.

"It's...Its nothing, Kiritara." Sanus said setting his jaw and closing off his emotions. "Nothing a priestess needs to worry about". He stepped closer to her,taking in the smell of sulfur and ash. This scent wasn't unusal, for the woman was a Dragon Spirit Ascetic. It was her job to applease the Spirits, to ensure that their people would be able to access the fire magic they still posessed. He took her wrists into his hands and looked up at the falling snow. "

"I am your wife to be. If you can't talk to me then perhaps..." Kiritara said with a mischevious grin.

Sanus narrowed his eyes at the woman. "Don't threaten me. you'll find I don't crack as easily as others."

"True." the female gulai said as she walked past him and looked down over the railing. She eyed the dragons and spoke. "Very few gulai could maintain control of his unit after being beaten like that"

Sanus said nothing as he remembered. His scars burned as his mana began to flux.
"
You're losing control." Kiritara said as she turned and eyed him cooly. "You still can't leave that alone can you?"

Sanus snarled and stomped angrily. Flames swept the floor and leaving streaks of ash. "And should I?! the man killed my father."Sanus looked away ashamed."and when I challenged him...he left me alive."

"And that was his mistake." The woman said. "You will grow stronger. your hair will become as fire and blood. You will be come a master of the battlefield. The great dragon spirits have told me this. You will be their instrument of vengance, their weapon agianst the coming evils"

"But you have not yet told me if this evil is in the field or in our own CITY!"the male gulai spat. the snow melted around him, evaperating before it could touch his clothes."you speak in riddles. I will be a weapon of the dragon spirits, but the spirits have all but abandoned us. THe magic we do control is drawn from their tormented souls. No longer will the nature spirits impart us with the elemental magic. Everyday our children are born without magic! no better than common humans!"Sanus paused and looked away ashamed."I am sorry. Today's events have tired me. They have made me lose sight."

"I understand, but you must be patient. These battles are merely preparation." Kiritara spoke.

Sanus began to reply but was cut off.

"Omenai" a familar voice interuppted.

"Yes, Vahn?" Sanus said maintaining eye contact with Kiritara.

"The men are ready. All that remains is you to give the order" Vahn said as he adjusted his battle gear. His twin spears were strapped to his back and he held a sword and Gunir rifle in his hands. The lieutinat bowed his head at the ascetic. "I am sorry my lady, i did not know that you were meeting my commander"

"It is no problem, Vahn of the Twisted Winds." Kiritara said bowing her head in response. "we were just parting."

"We will continue this when i return." Sanus said."For now I must follow the orders of our General"

Sanus turned and held out his hands. He took the rifle and sword and strapped them to his armor. "Lets go."

THe two warriors walked away from the female gulai in silence. When they were out of earshot, Vahn spoke up.

"Why didn't you kiss your betrothed?" The silver haired soldier said.

Sanus paused."Because shes not betrothed to me."he replied softly.

"eh?"Vahn replied with a questioning look.

"She's Betrothed to my rank and what I once was" Sanus replied.
***

The end.

I know i spelled leitenate wrong. How ever its spelled. Just roll with it.