This is based entirely on a true story.
I think it was … Otakon 2004. We’d had a long day. LONG day. We were at the guest dinner in the rooftop restaurant Capricorn (I reserve the right to royally eff up details, though). We were all rubbing our hands together, ready to dig in, so hungry that our stomachs were the only congregation of black holes ever recorded in such a close vicinity (read the NASA report). Our table was right outside the door to the kitchen, so all the waiters and waitresses would swing close, just close enough for us to get a smell of that delicious food; and then they’d sweep away, and after a time we were left wondering whether food really existed - perhaps it’d just been a figment of our imagination after all.
And Hawk? Hawk … broke. He began to gather forks to himself, rallying the silver utensils as though they were troops, troops that he might fling at the next oncoming waiter. If you had been there, you would have seen the wild gleam in his eye, as though the next waiter himself might suffice for dinner.
Food did arrive, eventually. Then, broken, tired, and exhausted, we were airlifted out of the building to a spacestation where we were dropped into a nutrient bath till the effects of malnutrition passed. I don’t know, the details get hazy.
I’ll leave you with this - this is a photograph of the forks that Hawk managed to collect during dinner.
